My Newfound Humility, and Love in My Faith

Slice me, dice me, put me on a sandwich, call me Swiss cause man am I holy. I got a story for you all.

It starts on a Friday afternoon. I was join to "God Camp" as I had justly, or so I thought, named it it. Actually it was called YLC, Youth Leadership Conference. It was for Catholic teens to go and become leaders and strengthen their faith.

"Right." I had done this before. Lots of praying, Bibling, churching, and I knew that I would be the only enough brave enough to talk.

I got to Lewis University, the campus on which the conference was held, and went to my dorm. On the drive I had met some interesting guys who I would grow to know and love. Luke and Alex, this goes out to you guys. I also met several others from my parish; Justin, Johnny, Pat, Sammy, Margarite, Nikkita, Matthew, and, a now very great friend of mine, Katie. We are now the best of friends, all of us that is, and we are bonded by love and Christ. Canna brother get an Amen around here? Thank you.

Of course right now these people were complete strangers. We, and by that I mean everyone else in a tight knit group and me a little further behind, made our way to the building where the large group session was held. I was walking down a large corridor to the gym when I heard yelling, screaming, and clapping.

"Probably some stupid kids. They'll get in trouble." I said to myself. But it continued. I decided to investigate. Still puzzled and alone except for my wit and enthusiasm, I continued down the hall way. I found the source of the noise. There were a host of kids lined up on the way to the gym pointing and clapping and yelling "GO GO GO GO!!" and impatiently waiting for high fives.

"Oh," I said," It's one of THOSE God Camps." Little did I know was still wrong.

Another experience I had was when I was standing and talking to Katie for the first time. I glanced around and saw a large group of kids standing and looking at us. They, out of nowhere, yelled,

"WE LOVE JESUS YES WE DO! WE LOVE JESUS HOW BOUT YOU?"

WHAT?

CAN YOU DO THAT?

Then it hit me. So I fired back and they screamed and cheered. I later performed this ritual with friends upon strangers and friends alike.

The most powerful thing I experienced, the Epiphany of my Doubting Thomas, you know Thomas the Apostle, as I like to call it, was during Reconciliation. Not THAT kind of Reconciliation.

There were priests. You confessed. GooDY GOODIE. But there were buckets of sand in which to write your sins and then wash them away, or pray for something. There were crosses everywhere to pray in front of.

"Oh," I thought, "I'll pray a little."

I decided to go to Father Nowak, my pastor, just for the sake of familiarity and the fact we were good friends.

I sat down on the chair next to to him and he glanced at me once and then did a double take.

"Did you know I was here?" he asked

"Yes Father."

"And still you came"

"yes father."

"A brave man. Brave indeed. What do you wish to confess."

"For not being faithful to Jesus, my parents, family, and my friends who deserve so much more than faithfulness."

He just stared at me with what I could of sworn was amazement. He clasped my hands and looked into my eyes.

"Nick, Do you know how inspirational to other people you are? Do you know how many people look to you with admiration?"

I nodded and smiled. Huh?

"You are put in front of the same temptations of sex, drugs, alcohol and everything else. Yet you just say no. You are already a leader and strong in your faith. You are amazing!"
It went somethin like that.

He just sat and gazed in wonder and I returned the favor. Me? In faith? What? Okay Father.

"Thank you Father."

He said the prayers and I left to "Bloody pray" as I put it so eloquently.

I found a cross and knelt by it, made the sign of the cross, and then I looked around. Men, women, boys, girls anybody and everybody was kneeling and praying and/or crying with tears of mercy and joy.

"Alright," I said cynically, "I'll pray a little longer. So I knelt and talked to Jesus. I begged forgiveness for my wrongdoings and my unfaithfulness. I began to tear up.

What? Since when do I cry in reconciliation?

Then I went into my Doubting Thomas mode.

"Lord, I am doubting Thomas. Let me stick my hand in your side and fell then holes in your hands. Show me me and I will believe. I know I should believe otherwise, but show me."

I was feelin terrible! I had just betrayed everythin I was there to do! I stood up and turned around and went to get some water. I ran into a member of my small group, Ashley. She changed my life. She came to me, looked me in the eyes with a smile and said

"Nick, Your my inspiration. I wish I could be as strong in my faith as you."

WHOA. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? ME? I broke down. I'll be honest, I didn't expect Jesus to deliver right there and then. Whoa. I just grabbed her and cried.

"Don't cry Nick. You're our leader. If you cry then we all do."

THAT MADE IT WORSE. I was balling. After about five solid minutes of crying and hugging I said thank you amidst the tears and went to get my water. I came back and told Katie and Kendra. Oh Kendra is another friend. They both confirmed what Ashley said. I cried for five more minutes. I counted.

Then I went to find Mallory, I think that's how you spell it. Yes our dear Juliet. I had to tell her and Mary Dunn. Her too. Wow, forget people. I was looking and ran into Justin. He shook my hand and said

"Nick, Your my inspiration. I wish I could be as strong in my faith as you, man. You're amazing."

Okay. One was enough God GESE! I said thank you amidst a new flood of tears and went to find Mallory and Mary. Then I ran into Noel. This is the kicker ladies and gents.

Noel is about 5'4", either Filipino or some other Asian nationality. He was perfectly American though, born and raised. He was the Youth Minister at Saint Elizabeth Seton. They came dressed as UPS workers with SES on their hats instead. Awesome. He ran around with a box with a real UPS tag that was to YOU from GOD. More AWESOME. I had seen him before and we spoke briefly. There's your history.

He put his arm around me.

"Hey Nick, How are you."

I nodded still recovering from my last encounter and not able to hold a dignified conversation.

"Nick, I envy you. Know why? I run around and say hi to everybody and you do to. You have the same enthusiasm and are stronger in the faith than I am. And your fifteen and I'm thirty!"

Near tears I said

"But you gotta box."

I broke down and we hugged.

"We're gonna stay in touch. I'll talk to you later k?"

I nodded. I was balling AGAIN! How many times could I cry? I'm not used to crying AT ALL!

There was a cross on the main stage and I went and knelt directly in front of it. I thanked Jesus for showing me Him. I have renewed faith. I am a different man. I kissed the cross in the only effort I could find to give thanks. I just knelt and cried and was prayed over by people I didn't know and will probably. Never know, but will remember.

I have found God. I have found Jesus. I have renewed faith. I am a different man. I will walk in the light and turn no thought to darkness. He is my Lord , God, and Salvation Everlasting.

Amen. Canna brother get an AMEN ROUND HERE?

Nick