I am chained and chained i will remain

Happiness comes from satisfaction and being sufficient enough for yourself and, less and, yet, more importantly, those around you. Both of which have been stripped from me. I cannot be happy, now. Not truly, not at all.

I tried so hard to make it work, to make her happy. I saw that maybe things wouldn't work the way i wanted it to. So i stopped. And i walked away. And...and now i can't even speak. Now i can't even sleep or breathe or eat or anything. I just can't bring myself. If i cannot be there, than why am i here at all? To see her like that was unbearable.

And then to have my parents say the same. To say that i was too much trouble, ungrateful, not good enough, not trying hard enough. That. I cannot speak.

I think i have just made the biggest mistake of my life.

I have no idea. I thought i was right. I thought this was the way.

I think i was wrong.