Sometimes it Causes Me To Tremble...

Well, you nasty little blighters, you, I'm back from shore leave and what a shore leave it was, let me tell you. A very memorable shore leave that will be hard to forget no matter how hard I seem to try.

I don't feel like being cryptic, but I don't really want to disclose names or be any more specific than I have to only because the anguish lies too close to the surface and I am not going to give the entire background story, either. Far too long and complicated if you ask me. Needless to say my very being was racked with despair and I fight with it still and will for a great long while, I feel.

Oh, and on another side note, you none of these people. They live and die in a city a little ways from here.

Being on a church retreat, you don't expect to handle an enormity of emotional stress. This, unfortunately, was not the case.

My favorite person in the world, as I call her, was at odds with a former friend of hers. My favorite person, Tina, now loathed the soul of Brittany, who shall thus forward be referred to as Tink. I had never met Tink before, but had known Tina long enough for her to become my favorite person.

What it boils down to is my favorite person is a strong willed, wonderful, caring, and understanding person. I care about her more than she will ever think I do, and not even in the way your thinking. I consider it friendship in the highest form. Tina didn't like Tink and I didn't know Tink, but, as you all know, I'm pretty much against not liking people who I have a) never met and b) have no score to settle with. I knew Tina didn't like Tink, but it wasn't going to impede upon me goofing off with people I care about and work with.

Basically, I hung out with Tink a lot one day and talked with Tina a little less, you know, sometimes that's just how it works out. You hang around with certain people and other people happen to be there and sometimes you just can't please everyone.

Needless to say, Tina didn't like it...

I am solely and completely responsible for the hysterical breakdown Tina had...is having...

She said to me things I will never forget no matter how hard I try not to remember...

That if I was really her friend I wouldn't have hung out with Tink...

That if I were the Nick Pankuch I thought she thought I was I would never had done a thing like that to her...

And it tore...tears...rips me apart.

And I must bear all the guilt for something I have not done.

And she would like to spend some time with me?...

She's lucky she's my favorite person in the world...but is she even that anymore?

Well, God provides, as the saying goes.

*the wind picks up and blows his curly blonde locks across his scar-ridden face.*

Trim the sails and brace the foreyard. Bring me that horizon.

Cap'n Vincent of The Regret
"The Ace of Spades"