A Battle of Wills...No Enemies, No Allies, Only Truth

I discovered that fact today, ladies and gents. I discovered that, in my frequent exuberance and melancholy there is an everpresent dilemma. A battle, i think, that exists in everyone. The strong at heart know how to claim victory and the weak of soul know how to submit to defeat.

In my unbridled enthusiasm i have realized the dream of the former; I find my inner strength. I have used my experiences, both good and bad, and my decisions, both right and wrong, to better myself and those i who can bear my presence... :) I use this knowledge to free myself from the bonds that confine and restrict the freedom of my mind. I use it to explore my creativity and cause an explosion in my imagination. Turns out it's kind of funy, tpp. I use my talents to impress and enjoy.I use my faith as a rock, along with the previously here stated, to climb to new heights.

One must remember that, for every summit there is a valley. From that height there is only one place to go...until i find my wings, of course, but that's a completely different story. who knows when i'll find her... ;)...but i digress. With these trememdous highs come tremendous lows. That same experiences and decisions i had used to promote my freedom also bind me tighter than any rope and subdue my more than any cage. Nothing but reminders of failure seem to flood my mind. The thoughts of what i have done to come to this point, mistakes, utter failulres, and the desecration of morality and common sense abandoned. It is the acceptance and acknowledgement of these thoughts that free me, but it is the forsaking of them that will cast me down.

Herein lies the key; what must i do to continue to accept them? My crimes are not entirely of a forgivable nature. I have done things that i would loathe my utter being for if i were not the one who committed them. It is an inner struggle that manifests itself in many forms whether it is academics, performance, relationships both past and present, and the life i want to have for myself in the future. What must i do to, frankly, move on? What can i do to close this chapter and begin the next?...

And then you find them...

Those situations, people even...those people whose very smiles will send you soaring...that person...that person that seems to give you what you've been searching for...

A wind and the wings to soar on it with.

* Looks at up at the sun, then down at his boots. He taps the hilt of his sword.*

It's high tide. Set sail and see if we can coax a little more speed from these sails.

Cap'n Vincent of The Regret
"The Ace of Spades"