The Truth Plain and Simple
Well howdy, ladies and gentlemen. It's been a little while since we last spoke, but don't worry; I'll fill you in. ;) Oh wait, there's nothing to fill you in on. :( LAME! lol. On second thought...
It's been rough. I'm not going to lie; it's been really rough. In fact, it's damn near unbearable. To know that you hurt someone. Someone that you cared for, and still, mind you, in your life and you hurt them. Really, truly hurt them. That you've actually caused pain. Real pain. It kills me. I try not to think about it, but it invades every concious thought I have. I hurt the girl I love. It kills me every waking moment. And the non-"waking" ones too. I wish I could find a way to take it all away. To take the pain away from her and let her be happy again. To find a way. That's all I have left. A hope. A candle flickering in a huge expanse of darkness. That little candle will see me through the night whether to a storm or to a blazing blue sky it will lead me through.
You know, ladies and gents, finding yourself, as it has so come to be referred to as, doesn't really solve all the problems. You can enjoy every minute of life, not let others take you down, and let life roll no matter how you take it and deal with it, but pain, real pain, puts a kink in the line. It gives you scars that no blade has ever given; ones that stay with you. Ones that remind you every single second of what you did, how you betrayed and destroyed everything you loved and worked so hard to build, and how you lost the only person you could ever talk to, who made you happy, whom you loved. It's gone and you won't forget that.
And look, I'm aware that xanga entries don't move mountains; time, truth, and devotion will get me to the summit, but even that doesn't happen overnight. Redwood tress don't grow in ten days, you know. :) I only wish I could take her pain away. It kills me to know that I had some part of it. I wish I could take it all away.
The real truth here is, well, that I can't and I have to find away to change that. And I swear I will. I swear it. It's all I have left. That little candle.
Until I die or you find someone better,
~Nick
"... I shouldn't blame her (Jane) if she refused ever to see me again. But there are some sentiments that are too strong to be denied or suppressed."
-Charles Bingley
Pride and Prejudice
It's been rough. I'm not going to lie; it's been really rough. In fact, it's damn near unbearable. To know that you hurt someone. Someone that you cared for, and still, mind you, in your life and you hurt them. Really, truly hurt them. That you've actually caused pain. Real pain. It kills me. I try not to think about it, but it invades every concious thought I have. I hurt the girl I love. It kills me every waking moment. And the non-"waking" ones too. I wish I could find a way to take it all away. To take the pain away from her and let her be happy again. To find a way. That's all I have left. A hope. A candle flickering in a huge expanse of darkness. That little candle will see me through the night whether to a storm or to a blazing blue sky it will lead me through.
You know, ladies and gents, finding yourself, as it has so come to be referred to as, doesn't really solve all the problems. You can enjoy every minute of life, not let others take you down, and let life roll no matter how you take it and deal with it, but pain, real pain, puts a kink in the line. It gives you scars that no blade has ever given; ones that stay with you. Ones that remind you every single second of what you did, how you betrayed and destroyed everything you loved and worked so hard to build, and how you lost the only person you could ever talk to, who made you happy, whom you loved. It's gone and you won't forget that.
And look, I'm aware that xanga entries don't move mountains; time, truth, and devotion will get me to the summit, but even that doesn't happen overnight. Redwood tress don't grow in ten days, you know. :) I only wish I could take her pain away. It kills me to know that I had some part of it. I wish I could take it all away.
The real truth here is, well, that I can't and I have to find away to change that. And I swear I will. I swear it. It's all I have left. That little candle.
Until I die or you find someone better,
~Nick
"... I shouldn't blame her (Jane) if she refused ever to see me again. But there are some sentiments that are too strong to be denied or suppressed."
-Charles Bingley
Pride and Prejudice
posted by Cap'n Vincent @ 19.6.06
4 Comments:
At 10:01 PM,
Heather said…
I'm sure time will make amends between you two. I really miss you and everyone. Well I had typed a long comment, but it didn't post. It was probably for the best though. Well I love you.
'go N-eirà an bothair leat'
(Translation: May the road rise to meet you)
Heather
At 10:08 PM,
Anthony Kayer said…
hey dude...its cool...just relax...itll at be good in the end...
At 5:40 AM,
Cap'n Vincent said…
It depends, bro. Dani might not want to talk to me about stuff, just yet. Assuming she's going, of course. Things might get a little akward. I'll go, but she might not want me to. That's all I'm saying. She might not be ready. Frankly, I don't think i am either. I'd probably just brake down... you know how much of a pansy I am. :)
Later Bro,
Nick
At 6:45 AM,
Anthony Kayer said…
its ok man...dont worry about it so much...but you should talk to someone...itll help
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