Falling, Falling, Falling

Does that ever happen to you? Do you just find a picture or a note and sudden remember a smile and a laugh that drives you to the brink of tears? Or a friend brings it up, whether purposefully or not, and you go back to every waking moment of happiness followed by the pangs of pain and regret that tend to linger longer than you like?

I'm not one for holding on to the past, whether it be a grudge or mistakes or the like, but this, this of all things, holds on to my mind more than anything else and i never cease to forget. Part of me wants to let it go forever while the other half hangs on if only for the pain. Because, before the pain, comes a brief reminiscence of happiness. Of a smile. Of a warm embrace.

And then all of your flaws start to creep back in your mind. Everything you've ever done that's hurt someone. Things you can't do no matter how hard you try. Things that never yusually bother you, but have, somehow, found away into your heart and start to tear it a part. can' run fast enough, can't be strong enough, smart enough, quick enough, witty enough, funny enough, can't be good enough.

Reality comes in with that two ton hammer and gives you a right good smacking with it.
There's no place for your happy go lucky attitude here!, it says.

You know what? I lost my happy thought.

And i'm all out of fairy dust.

Damn.

It would appear my flying days are over.

Cap'n Vincent of The Regret
"The Ace of Spades"