Happiness comes from satisfaction and being sufficient enough for yourself and, less and, yet, more importantly, those around you. Both of which have been stripped from me. I cannot be happy, now. Not truly, not at all.
I tried so hard to make it work, to make her happy. I saw that maybe things wouldn't work the way i wanted it to. So i stopped. And i walked away. And...and now i can't even speak. Now i can't even sleep or breathe or eat or anything. I just can't bring myself. If i cannot be there, than why am i here at all? To see her like that was unbearable.
And then to have my parents say the same. To say that i was too much trouble, ungrateful, not good enough, not trying hard enough. That. I cannot speak.
I think i have just made the biggest mistake of my life.
I have no idea. I thought i was right. I thought this was the way.
I think i was wrong.
Nicholas, you need to take a break from yourself.
ReplyDeleteBreathe, son.
It's going to be okay.
~Hil
I agree with Hilary. A vacation, perhaps? Just a little one. Brittany
ReplyDeletemaybe you should take a day off. i take lots of days off. mental health days. like right now. when you are at school and i am sitting on my couch watching tv. hahahahaha. i need it though.
ReplyDeleteyou do too.
don't beat yourself up too much.
play in the snow. drink hot chocolate. cry. watch your favorite movie.
and if that doesn't work,
try baking.
that's what i do.
;)
no matter what you do, you're never going to be able to make everyone happy. and if you waste your energy trying to do that, you'll sure as hell never be happy.
so stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and wants for a little bit. or at least try.
wow. that was a lot longer than i meant it to be. seeing as how i never meant to comment in the first place.
If life was easy, there wouldn't be a point to living it. Stay safe, kid. Don't worry, its alright.
ReplyDeletewe've talked about what i think about this but...
ReplyDeletehoney, the stuff that is easy isn't worth it. Its the hard stuff that makes you who you are. It's the hard stuff that you learn from.
sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same...
ReplyDeletedon't you ever do that again, ever
ReplyDeleteI love you too much
hey i was roaming the internet and i happened to stumble acrossed this and began reading. it has been a whil since this happened and i can tell that you were hurt i hope that everything is better. if you ever need someone to talk to please contact me at allpoetry.net my username is maiden in distress
ReplyDeleteyou are in my prayers
later stranger
-Z