Sleigh Bells Ring, Are Ya' Listenin'?

I sure hope you are. Ah, Christmas time. Gotta love it! I love Christmas Eve, too. We go over to my grandparents house and they give out all their presents and we give them theirs and the food is good and the laughter is contageous and i wish i could take everyone i knew! *sigh* But, alas, the only reason that i couldn't is...

My grandma probably didn't make enough cookies. Yup. Only reason.

oOo, tell all of ur Christmas plans here, unless ur on a cruise!!!...lol, anywho. Oh, and

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Feeling jolly,

Nick

Rockin' Aroud the Christmas Tree

Yes, folks, its that time of year again. The time where joy and hapiness pervades the soul of ever cold hearted SOB around the world. Where ya' give and'ya get, but you just enjoy the time you spend together because, knowing the typical American family, it's probably the only time you're not bashing in each others skulls.

;)

Well, here's to Christmas break, ladies and gents. Stay in touch. Look here for any anouncements regarding holiday parties, etc 'cause i'm sure there's gonna' be one.

oh i almost forgot.

My URL
http://www.myspace.com/thespianpancake

My Blog URL
http://blog.myspace.com/thespianpancake

there's that...i have joined myspace...i know, i know, it's nothing against you, Blogger...i'm just expanding my horizons...

Well folks, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,


Nick

Bop It's Revenge

Ask me about that, or spence, max, dexter, or jake, for that matter. Bop It will return with a vengeance.

Had a pretty good weekend. cavyr's party was good, so was max's house, obviously. Speech was good, a little disappointed in myself for not breaking ,but it can only go up from here and, with a whole lot of hard work, I can do it. For hi and dda.

Other than that, just havin' a blast. christmas is in a week! HOly CRAP. I still haven't done my shopping! ....ruh roh.

:)

Well, folks, time to go eat breakfast. I'll talk to y'alls later today.


The first time in a while i'm not on the flipside,

Nick

And the Award For Worst 'Hint-Taker' Goes To...

Yes, thank you, thank you. you'd think i'd get it after a while...lol...guess not

today was an okay day...my ticker was botherin' me a little today...Dani was pretty stressed so i'm pretty worried about her...probably don't have to be, but i am... ;)...here's to me for overreacting... :P

Work was alright...long, as usual, but worth the time, i think...'specially for what i'm usin' the money for. :) Best birthday present ever in the history of the world. No joke, either. No really, you're not gonna believe it.

Anywho, well there ya go. Tomorrow looks promising, and i hope to make it much more.

Well, time to hit the hay, my friends. Oh, and Josh, here's to some honest graft.


Slicking the streets with no help from the rain,

Nick

For the first time in my life, i don't want to be here. In this house. Ever again.

I spent and hour and fifteen cleaning and straightening, w/o being asked just for the chance that maybe my mother would give me some peace...i sat through dinner waiting on every word she said, not really watching CSI, but just hoping that nothing would happen.

All i got was silence.

'You alright Nick?' she said

'Yeah, yea just fine.'

She didn't say word. I worked my ass off and she didn't say a word. I was thankful and yet horrified. It was the most terrifying, hectic, busying, unsatisfying, silent thing. I just felt that maybe if i did everything for her, she would leave me alone.

And she did.

But it wasn't worth it. To work my ass of for nothing instead of negative? it means nothing. it was as if none of it existed to her.

It was the worst night of my life. Best dinner i've ever had, but the worst night.

I can't be here anymore. It just makes me sad. Everything's so much heavier here. Every glass. every plate, every heart. It was work. It was work to think it was work to breathe it was all work. It was work to exist in a little shred of peace that wasn't really peace anyway. It's all so heavy now.

I just can't do it for you, mom. Everything i've done i've done to make you happy, and then b/c you said so, and then to make you leave me alone and now? Now it means nothing to you. Everything i've striven to be means nothing to you. I am forced to sit around waiting for the next blow and doing everything i can to avoid taking it. I just can't do it for you, mom.

I just.

I need a holiday.

Nick

No, mom, I'm Sorry

You think for one second my mother could realize she's nagging me? She did it in front of Spencer, for crying out loud and she tried to say that she wasn't when, very, very clearly, she was.

Can i get a moment's peace? You wonder why I'm stressed and have to feel like a flippin' robot all the time w/this stupid thing i'm hooked up to, it's not because i do too much, that's for sure. Sometimes i wonder if i don't do enough. It's because you, mom, unceasingly tell me i'm doing to much and need to slow down and that i'm going to hurt myself and that i slack off in my responsibilities at home and , when i forget stuff i need to do, you flip out and say that i do it just to make your life harder and make this more difficult for you when, in fact, the only people who get the rotten end of that deal are Liss and I.

I have over a 4.0, i do bloody awesome in speech temand and drama, i'm a half decent son, i get home on time, i do my homework, my room is relatively clean...you'd think you could give me a break, but no. There is always more work to be done, always room for improvement.

You know...

I'm just not good enough for you, am I, mom?

Yeah, that's what i thought.

I'm jsut complaining too much...maybe it's not that bad...somebody somewhere's got it worse,a fterall...but man

Yeah, yeah that's what i thought, mom.

Catch you folks later,

Nick